I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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