We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just want nice things and good sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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