dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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