Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
