I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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