I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
