I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
