Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
