member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
