I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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