Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sorry my hands just texted you
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
