I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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