All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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