is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
