You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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