K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There's always time for handjobs
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
