therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
