he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
