Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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