I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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