She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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