My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
