He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
