Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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