We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
