The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
