it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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