Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
