just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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