i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
