i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
