Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
