the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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