i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
