Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
