I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize