i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
