Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
