he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
how does that bad decision feel?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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