i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize