Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
