I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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