I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
