On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
