woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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