i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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