Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
