have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
