Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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