i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
