Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
