she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
