Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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