What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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