Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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