what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize