So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
